From another chapter: Our anniversary

Now and then I’m posting from a collection of posts on my old blog, another chapter in my life. Read more about these posts in my original From Another Chapter post.

Originally posted on August 19, 2008

Today my husband and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. In some ways it’s hard to believe we’ve been married that long but in others ways it feels like we’ve always been together.

We went out for supper and while we were waiting for our food he asked me what I had learned from this last year of marriage. I talked about learning to work together, learning to treating each other with love when we start to get so comfortable that we’re tempted not to put in the effort.

What made the night for me was when he said what he noticed this year is that we have really become best friends. He said when was out of town recently, he missed me because he missed having the person with him who really knows him best. I think this is the beginning of what a committed relationship offers that the infatuation of new love never can.

Sometimes I worry that adding a little one to our family will cause us to drift apart. So many couples have told me how a baby changed the dynamic of their marriage. Less time for each other, less energy to put in the extra effort, less time to focus on yourselves. What if that happens to us and he wishes we hadn’t messed with a good thing…

I also know that a solid marriage is the best gift you can give your children. If that’s the case then deciding to start a family needs to start with a commitment to make one another a priority. In my excitement to pursue adoption I don’t think I have done this. I know he is a priority to me but I think I have made him feel like my real priority is becoming a mom.

The best thing I can do for any future children is start showing their dad now that he’s my first priority by enjoying our relationship without kids and giving him the time he needs to prepare for expanding our family. That’s the commitment I want to make this anniversary.

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