sarah's blog

Of all the posts I could be, should be writing right now I have sat down to write about the strangest of all of them.

You see today while the twins were taking their one nap (two of which they actually need and were therefore a hot. mess. tonight,) I caught up on a episode of Sister Wives that I had recorded a few days ago.

Yes, I know. Before you think I’ve become a polygamist or something, hear me out.

In this episode the newest wife Robin (#4) has her baby boy, Solomon, and we observe how different parts of the family react through the process. Some of the older kids seemed to feel pretty disconnected from this newest wife and this half brother of theirs, while some were moved to tears when they held him. One wife admitted she doesn’t get too emotional about babies and didn’t really want to be woken up to meet him (though she did come anyways) while another made a gift to let everyone know she was accepting him into her family with open arms despite earlier reservations.

But then there was Meri, the first wife, married to her/their husband for over 20 years. She has only one daughter, a teenager now, and despite years of hoping and several disappointments, she was never able to have more. Meri was the catalyst for Robin joining the family and the two really clicked, forming a bond closer than she felt with the other wives, though she encouraged them joining the family too.

Seeing Meri’s love for Robin and watching her practically jumping out of her skin with joy as she and her only daughter rushed to see Solomon with gifts in hand, set the stage for a moving moment I never expected. Just hours after Robin had her baby, as Meri held him, Robin asked to speak to Meri alone.

In that moment she told Meri that she wanted to offer her the gift of being her surrogate if she wanted to accept it.

She said she had prayed about it since she first met Meri and that she was absolutely sure. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I saw, despite what we would expect to exist between these two women, the depth of love and grace being offered. She had JUST had a baby, naturally, at home and she was already prepared to do it again to give someone else, a person she shares her husband with, that same moment.

I say all this not to convince you to watch the show or support the Brown family or approve of polygamy. Because of my personal faith I would not practice polygamy nor encourage others to do so. For me this wasn’t about their lifestyle choice. What I came away with was an overwhelming sense of sacrificial love.

I face far less and yet they often humble me with their willingness to lay themselves down for someone else, constantly compromising and committed for a lifetime to their families.

Would I be able to offer that? Would I be able to accept that offer? Would I pursue a relationship of love and grace despite difficult circumstances they way these women do?

Seeing the look on Meri’s face as the weight of what she was being offered washed over her I knew I would want to do the same for someone I loved if I had that opportunity.